WHY?

NIU officials have confirmed the names of the following students killed in the shooting:
Daniel Parmenter, age 20, last of Westchester, Ill.
Catalina Garcia, age 20, last of Cicero, Ill.
Ryanne Mace, age 19, last of Carpentersville, Ill.
Julianna Gehant (pronounced Ghee-hant), age 32, last of Mendota, Ill.
Gayle Dubowski, age 20, last of Carol Stream, Ill.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!

Our "sleepy" college town has had our world turned upside down this week. The biggest question for everyone - WHY???

Why did this happen?

Why did innocents have to die?

Why a senseless act of violence?

The tears (mine) have finally come....I finally saw video this morning of the EMTS wheeling the students out on stretchers and it became very real to me. Still pictures have been scary enough but to see it happen was just...

It has been a very surreal couple of days for most of us who live here/go to school here. My heart breaks for the students who were eye witnesses to this horrific act. My heart breaks for the students who were lost and their families and friends. My heart breaks for the shooter's family. I pray for their strength and hope they know they will always be members of our community.

It still seems like a dream to me. I want to wake up and realize it was, but sadly, that will never happen. Sadly, there is much attention on our community for something that is so tragic that I truly can not put into words the pain that is felt here.

This has also been a very difficult time to be a parent. As with any disaster, it is difficult to try to explain these things to our children. It is difficult to struggle to answer "Why?" when we do not know or understand ourselves. It is difficult to send them to school, to let them out of your sight, for fear of the unknown. It is difficult to push your fear aside so that they will not see it in your eyes when you tell them they can not be afraid to go out in the world and carry on with their day.

I commend the emergency personnel from ours and every neighboring community. Their response and help was amazing! Many of them were volunteer firefighters/EMTs from other communities. Thank you! Thank you all!

Our community has come together and banded together to support each other, NIU, the students and their families. There is red and black everywhere you look - flags, ribbons, balloons, signs of support and love. We dropped our DS off at school yesterday - though he was jittery about going - assured him he needed to go on with his day and talk to whomever he needed to and gave him an extra hug. As he got out of the van, I looked out at the kids who were getting off the buses and walking across the parking lot and the sea of red NIU shirts that I saw just overwhelmed me! Those kids stood together as a community to show their support and it touched me deeply.

So, I give you this reminder (as we have been reminded here this week), live each day to the fullest, don't let an opportunity to tell your loved ones that you love them, and give an extra hug -just because.

Thank you all for the prayers and good thoughts.